The
summer began oddly enough as
Cletus
and his best friend Val consumed an entire case of beer before
it got warm. On the first day of vacation, well before any
legitimate time to do anything worthwhile, the two now-drunk
ex-classmates were
looking forward to the end of their high school experience and upcoming
summer of minimal responsibility and rural debauchery. Both of them had
gotten off work simultaneously and decided to spend the rest of the day
getting drunk and not to waste any of their discretionary money on ice.
As that first goal was achieved, the duo took stock of their life
together and their lives apart. Two young men lay horizontal on a porch
in the middle of Sitting on the front porch of
Cletus’s
house, the friends reminisced about their childhood. “I remember that you never kidded
me
about my name,” said Val. “I assume you mean your girlie
first
name?” “Exactly.” “Well, to tell you the truth,” said
Cletus, “I didn’t know it was a girl’s name until several years after
we met. I figured I had lost my chance to mock you since the window of
opportunity long since closed.” “Well, whatever your motivations or lack of context, I
still appreciate it.” The late afternoon had moved into
evening as
the two continued to drink on the porch. Their rate of consumption had slowed but was still impressive when the
phone rang exactly at “Well,” said Val as he stood up
shakily,
“That is Julie and it is time for me to scoot.” “You can come with me,” said
Cletus.
“She really likes you and it will give her a chance to talk about
something other than our future.” “Well, that is something you need
to
talk to her about.” Cletus and Julie were grade school
sweethearts and their future was never in doubt. Val was going off the
college at the end of the summer but Cletus and Julie’s future was
planned out since the second day of seventh grade. They were going to
be married, have four children (no gender requirements) and live in On the other end of the spectrum,
Val
was off to the state university in the early fall and his life had not
been planned out specifically. He dated several local girls, none too
seriously, and had no life plans imposed on him by anyone. He knew he
would be heading off to school so with an untested heart and a clean
slate, he was comfortable with the fact that his best of options were
likely in front of him. He didn’t kid Cletus about being locked down by a ball
and chain, likely as consideration for Cletus not mocking him about his
first name. They were generally even with issues and additional
information from the other was not changing any situations; they
approached their lives on parallel but soon to be diverging tracks. Val went home and did some reading
while
he waited for his polite drunken state to subside. He was making a
conscious effort to take any discretionary time to sharpen his mind;
college was right around the corner and he wanted to read
discretionally before real education became his full-time job. His
future was unknown and that pleased Val, especially faced with the
absolute certainty that Cletus was driving over to see Julie. He was
also certain that Cletus was driving over to Julie’s house with the
windows open and a mouthful of candy attempting to mask his symptoms so
she would not correctly assess his inebriation. She wanted Cletus to
not waste money on alcohol and was constantly shaking him down for any
pocket change and loose bills to invest in their joint checking
account created specifically for their future together. The town bank still talks about the
time
that Julie and Cletus walked into its lobby, hand in hand, declaring
the need for a mutual bank account. Julie looked the manager in the eye
and stated clearly that they “were planning” and that
the Julie knew that Cletus was her
future
husband but she encouraged him to maintain his single friendships as a
sign of a confident woman. Cletus’s life was prioritized for him and
Val made sure to compliment the existing relationship by making himself
available and worked around Julie’s schedule. Val never placed Cletus
in a position to choose between him and Julie for two reasons: one, he
was impressed with Julie’s long-range strategy and two; because he was
afraid if Cletus
did choose him and he would have to spend the rest of his life on the
run from the newly-spurned Julie. Val knew that the circumstances
around
his life would be changing and he wasn’t in a position to judge other’s
approaches to life. His friendship with Cletus was based on mutual
respect and the ability to take whatever time he could get. Val had the
ability to entertain himself so whenever Cletus called him (he rarely
called Cletus), he would make himself available. Cletus’s life was
already well-planned: work most of the day and then wait until Julie
got off work at Val wanted to improve himself on
his own
terms and college was the best, first step. The summer fell into nice,
manageable portions: work, reading, drinking with Cletus, reading and
readying himself for college. These two friends, bound primarily by
routine and geography, were moving on to the next chapters of their
lives: one known, one a mystery. Val always wanted to know why Cletus
never applied to any college, especially since he got spectacularly
high scores on the standardized test. Cletus took the test as a joke,
since he wanted to accompany Val on the trip to the city. Cletus never
studied, flew through the test, finished first and dismissed it as a
lark. A few months later, Val was shocked to see his impressively high
scores. Cletus didn’t think about it much because he was constantly
picking up or dropping off Julie to put a series of independent
thoughts into his head. In the middle of the final
conversation
in the ever-darkening day, the phone rang and Val said, “You better get
that, it’s Julie.” Cletus smiled and said, “I know.”
He got
up and caught the phone before the second ring. His muffled
conversation to Julie began with responding to a litany of questions
she had no doubt thought up during her day’s shift. In an atmosphere of
whispered “Yes, dear” and “No, dear,” Val walked home in the early
moonlight. School and the big city beckoned and it time to jump in.
Cletus and Julie were planning their wedding for the following summer,
completing on schedule with Julie’s master plan so he had one
obligation in As the summer drew to a close, the
two
men were sitting on the porch for the last night. They shook hands
several times and promises of ongoing collaboration were repeated and
assured. As the time to leave for school arriving quickly the following
morning, Cletus was the only friend to see him off. Most of the
graduating class did not go onto college or vocational school, so
events such as Val’s departure never registered too high on the
community social calendars. The truck was packed and Val’s father and
mother were ready to go when Cletus stuck out his hand for the final
time as peers. “Good luck, Val.” “Thanks, Cletus. I will see you at
Christmas.” “I might come up and visit you
sometime.” “That would be fine,” said Val with
an
odd expression. Cletus had not once asked about college or expressed an
interest in ever leaving College was an exciting time;
surrounded
by crowds of other young adults, Val got into the swing of things
immediately. He enjoyed his classes and fell in with a group of
interesting guys in his dormitory. Whatever transition fears he had
prior to coming here were long gone as he felt completely at ease with
the events of being a small town freshman in the big city. He didn’t
know anybody at the school and he was free to find his own path. Life
was simple; go to school, study, and go to school and sleep. Cletus’s letters and phone calls
began
immediately upon his arrival. The questions were seeking information:
he wanted to know about class size, course loads, the expenses and the
general culture. Val answered all his questions honestly, not sensing
any ulterior motives, for a friend that he thought he had left behind. Not long into his first year, a new
chapter began to appear into Val’s simple lifestyle: a real girlfriend.
For the first time, Cletus and Val both involved in relationships and
it didn’t take long for Val to continually reference his new
girlfriend, Sylvia. At first Cletus was happy that his friend found
love but grew tired of hearing of her exploits in his friend’s life. As
Val was conditioned to constantly hear about Julie, Cletus was not
prepared to hear his friend talk with passion about someone he had not
met. It was unsettling for him to be missing out of such a huge piece
of his friend’s life and early in October, approximately one month
after Val had left, he got a call on his answering machine that Cletus
was on the way up to spend a few days. Val was pleased that Cletus was
visiting
and after he arrived, Val dutifully introduced him to all his new
friends, showed him around campus and finally, brought him around to
meet Sylvia. She walked in and Cletus actually
dropped the can of beer that he had in his hand. He had never before
seen such a beautiful woman and he stood there, staring at her, with a
look of wonderment. The sight of Sylvia completely knocked out all
memory of his life-long and only girlfriend, Julie. Sylvia’s smile and
confident style turned Cletus into a mute, grinning statue. It wasn’t
until Val spoke that Cletus realized that he was transfixed with the
beauty of Sylvia. Val’s voice broke the spell
momentarily.
Cletus had no idea that a woman could be so beautiful. Julie was pretty
and he had never even imagined seeing another woman but Sylvia stood in
front of him like a vision; she was the living personification of
beauty. Val made the introductions and they all sat down to talk. Her
voice matched her looks and Cletus was transfixed on her persona and
listened patiently to her stories. Eventually, it got late and Val
walked Sylvia home and when he got back, he innocently asked Cletus
what he thought about the day. Cletus paused and said, “Your
girlfriend
is the most gorgeous woman that I have ever seen.” Val laughed and said, “Better not
let
Julie hear that, you would be in big trouble.” The multiple images of Julie
violently
flooded back into Cletus’s mind. For the last few hours, his mind was
not grinding away thoughts about Julie, their upcoming wedding,
potential house hunting and her litany of plans for the both of them
and most of all, the fact that he had a girlfriend. There had not been
a time since early in his seventh grade life that Julie was not first
and foremost in his mind. The immediate and sudden obliteration of all
thoughts Julie troubled him but the sheer velocity of their earlier
departure made the phenomenon even more fascinating. He laughed, “No kidding.” The next morning, he got up early
and
walked onto campus. School was in session and Cletus made a call to his
father and made an appointment to see a counselor. He arrived back at
the dormitory when Val was waking up. He walked in and announced that
his had ordered his transcripts from “I figure my test scores and my
grades
should get me in here.” Val, still waking up, was still
trying
to digest the first announcement about college. He sat up in his bed
with a look of confusion and actually said to himself, “Did Cletus just
say he was enrolling in college?” Cletus ignored the internal
rhetoric and
continued to talk and it was becoming apparent that Val was not
daydreaming. In the period of about twelve hours, Cletus had made
several monumental decisions and the word “Julie” had not come up once.
Val decided not to evoke the name, as he was on a roll, but his facial
expression gave him away. “I suppose you are thinking ‘what
about
Julie?’” “It crossed my mind but in the last
five
minutes, a few other thoughts crossed as well.” Cletus smiled, “You know for the
first
time, I hope she likes the idea but I don’t really care.” It was the first resistance by
Cletus in
almost six years and Val, now up and dressed, was wondering where this
new-found moxie was originating. They walked out of the dorm room to
get some breakfast and Val kept listening to Cletus’s rationalizations. “I called my Dad and asked him if I
could attend school.” “And he said? Cletus kept walking through the
small
forest separating the dormitory from the dining hall, said, “He told me
that it was the best idea I have had in a long time.” “When are you planning on coming?” “As soon as I can,” said Cletus,
“It
looks like the start of the next semester.” “You will need a place to stay.” “I think there are a lot of things
I
will need.” “Have you told Julie about the
plans?” “Not a word.” The last time Cletus had not
involved
Julie in a decision was the morning before they first met in seventh
grade. Since that day, Julie had been the single largest determinant of
directions and overall opinion between the two of them. Cletus had not
bought an article of clothing, pre-recorded music or a menu item that
had not been approved prior by Julie. She always made the decisions and
up until this moment, Cletus had acquiesced. During the streak of
compliance, she had managed him with an iron fist wrapped up in a
starched glove of sharp shards of broken glass and Kevlar. He never groused about his
lack of will as the lack of true choice liberated him from the outside
pressures of life in general. Julie was the living embodiment of every
idiom and catch phase; ranging from calling the shots to pulling the
strings, she was in charge. This realization hit them both as
the
walk continued. Cletus was worried about his girlfriend and Val, on the
outer circle of the trouble planet of Cletus, was worried that life was
going to deal his friend a very tough couple of days. He saw in his
mind Cletus making the call to Julie, blurting out his decision and
then enduring a long listening silence while Julie verbally castrated
her charge with extreme prejudice only seen when general pity moves
over for annoyed indignation. Cletus was pre-occupied but knew it would
take a while to steel his fragile psyche from her onslaught. “Don’t blame me,” was all Val said. Over the years, Cletus had
occasionally
taken the path of least resistance and bent the truth to blame Val when
interrogated by Julie. As a result, Julie would ban Cletus and Val from
socializing while staring icily into the soul of Val. Eventually,
Cletus would crack (he always did) and admit whatever the indiscretion
blamed on Val was really his to own. Julie would shift gears from
hating Val for enjoying some control over Cletus (that was her
department) to hating Cletus for lying and Val for withholding the
truth. Val soon tired of being in the line of fire when Cletus and
Julie would have their challenges and deftly disappeared for much of
the rural duo’s give and takes. When they were back in the safety
of
Val’s room, Cletus felt he had to check himself before calling Julie.
Seeing her face to face was out of the question; if she could see him,
she could change his mind. Cletus aligned his reasons to calm himself
because he knew running a list of good reasons why he was leaving Val began to gather some books and
wander off to the lounge. The call was likely to be long and intense
and he didn’t need to be within the vaporization point of the issue. He
much preferred to be on an outer ring, where only fire and cyclonic
winds would be active. The somewhat cowardly act of a phone call was
slightly troubling but Val knew a monumental decision to leave town to
attend school was important enough to sacrifice some courage for timely
notification. Val gave Cletus a look of quiet support as he opened the
door and walked out. As
he sat, waiting for a red-eyed Cletus to wander out to the lounge, Val
stopped and looked back at an impressive two hours. Every once in a
great while, life converges into a great emotional whirlpool and all
you can is lean back and enjoy the ride. You find yourself swimming
amongst interesting circumstances, untapped opportunities and even more
fascinating personalities. Days begin with no special plan or outcome
but through a random series of events and timings, you find yourself
into a pool of energy, type undetermined. One
minute he was thinking about his weekend, and the next, he saw one of
the social fundamentals of his life change. It was too early to
determine whether it changed for the good or for the bad but the
magnitude of the change was fascinating. He knew Cletus had no real
interest in Sylvia but it was likely that her beauty snapped him out of
his social doldrums to show him that life was full of unknowns and that
one can still find themselves at crossroads of circumstances drunk with
random opportunities. If Cletus was guilty of anything, it was his
comfort with accepting or seeking simple answers to complex and
persistent questions that he rarely pondered and never externally
acknowledged. The result of the love of a simple solution is that we
are, at times, disappointed with the answer. People
have always pushed their own agendas and as a result, winners and
losers are created for periods of time. If a winner, one wishes to
solidify the role. If a loser, resentment and anguish bubbles up and
over everyone else. Cletus wasn’t a loser as much as he was an agnostic
in life around him and as a result of taking the path of least
resistance; he was now suffering from the brutal truths that seemed to
have appeared overnight. This perfect storm of submission, resentment
and violent awakening were making for a fascinating morning. Val
studied for a long time, not daring to get up for a news update. Cletus
was in there a long time and the duration caused Val to consider a fair
amount of potential scenarios. Ideas ranged from Cletus’s complete and
total breakdown and subsequent demand for forgiveness to Cletus’s
emancipation from all things Julie. The spectrum of solutions were more
a guideline because it was unlikely Julie would live with something in
the middle; she was a zero-sum personality and the only thing she hated
more than insubordination was a diluted compromise in which both
parties remained standing. The epic battle was hopefully going on a few
rooms away from Val’s ersatz study area. However, Cletus might have
turned into a coward and postponed the phone call after a nap. Val
finally went to the door and listened; the conversation was occurring
but he did not possess the ghoulish curiosity to remain and try to
piece together the likely social apocalypse that had begun. He opened
the door and saw Val on the phone, with his feet up on the desk. He
looked in control and once he saw Val, he waved him into his own room
and motioned him to take a seat. A
moment later, he hung up the phone and looked at Val. “Now, for the hard part.” |