Rubbery Words

This one takes a little explanation....

I started writing down interesting words that rolled off the tongue in a fun, rubbery manner. Words like lugubrious, ubiquitous (thanks, Liz!), gyration and erudite are examples of words that deserve a spin around the block. As I wrote this words, I tried to put them all into a small poem. The "rubbery" words I found are bolded for your visual and linguistic pleasure. If are curious, go here to determine any pesky definitions.

Have fun.

My vocation, a barker, a man with a spiel

To separate people from wisdom with zeal

By lining my pocket with all their cash money

I pleaded; I pandered but was always funny


"The Congolese lanolin cures all my ills

When applied very liberally with porcupine quills

The viscous albumen, its translucent sheen

Makes avulsions and hickeys the best they have been


My malleable sinews, their rebound and size

Are resulting from applications made to their hide

This wonderful ointment, with restorative bliss

Allows me to be someone other than this"


A man doddered towards me, wincing with pain

His arm swollen sideways, he walked with a cane

His carbuncle angry, a crimson spaldeen

Taut and protruding, the worst that you've seen


"This man cannot cure this," he shouted aloud

He probed at the boil, aghast was the crowd

I drizzled on ointment, added a circular wipe

His arm became healed, I continued my hype


My golden tongue narrative fixated locals

Looking stately and learned, complete with bifocals

Caesura-laced falsehoods, jam-packed innuendo

And tossed in some Latin for a classy crescendo


Placebo? Of course not! A phantasm bubble?

Denials akimbo, ‘twas not worth the trouble

Syncopating my rhythm, I claimed that the salve

Would solve, fix or heal anything thing that they have


Epiphanies dripping, I worked up a lather

And reached out with both hands, their money to gather

Was really tubed manna, this ointment, this lotion

Gave strength the cuckolds, affirmed would get motion


Obfuscation my primer, I directed the crowd

To embrace all my precepts, assume and be cowed

My unctuous style peaking, I looked to the sky

And claimed that this merchandise was ready to buy.


I sold tonnage that day, two tons the day after

I hid cash in my bloomers, which brought fits of laughter

I skulked out at sunrise, furtive glances emitted

I left town well-monied, my fortunes have shifted


Regret was not present, and no vacillation

The dear na´ve townsfolk bought a smooth-skinned vacation

The potion was harmless, a pharmacist’s dream

Was lard, and vanilla and some heavy cream


I grabbed the first plane out, I needed a rest

I need to lay low, maybe Cali, perhaps Pest

So I took off a season, until semblance returning

To thoughts apoplectic, opportunity burning


My exile now waning, the subpoena I fear

In ramshackle prisons, specious lifestyle I hear

My next product offering, it simply can’t wait

Selling used Kurdish boomerangs that only fly straight


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